The Fed’s have announced an increase to a total of $24,300.00 PER YEAR, PER CHILD, if you agree to buy a kid today. At this rate, which is expected to increase every tax year, your worries about inflation and foreclosure is gone. In fact, you can warehouse the kid’s and take in as many as you want up to a quarter of a million dollars worth before they start reducing your profits.
WAIT! There’s more.
If you act now, you’ll receive further incentives from the State, and the County. Free Medical for the kid’s if you want to take them to the doctors or dentists. Gas, mileage and road expenses if you take the kids out of their rooms (Optional). Up to $500.00 PER CHILD, PER MONTH, for Food Stamps whether you decide to feed them or not. A clothing allowance of up to $2,400.00 PER MONTH PER CHILD, if you decide to allow them to wear clothing.
All this, and you and your lover, partner or pimp can live the easy life. No pimp? NO PROBLEM! You can buy as many kids as you want even if your partner is off making a dope deal.
The initial ONE TIME charge to get started in building your business can be as little as $5,000.00 depending upon the quality of the product you wish to purchase. For those who wish to be able to take your merchandise into public places and your friends and neighbors homes, you have the option of obtaining a color acceptable to them without the hassle of having to clean up the burned crosses on your front lawn! This is a win-win situation for you and the lawyers, CPS, CASA, the the judges.
WAIT! THERE’S EVEN MORE!
If you’ve seen a piece of merchandise that your neighbors and you can accept in the neighborhood, simply call toll-free and let us know where we can find it and we’ll do the rest. Choose a kid that can be declared “Special needs” by medicating him or her, and you can reap additional rewards including the option of selling the drugs supplied rather than bothering to feed them to the kid! You get to pocket the proceeds, tax free!
Can I change the kids name, religion and ethnicity?
You betcha Bubba. If the kid is a Catholic, a Mormon or a Jew (God forbid), you can make it the religion of your choice including, but not limited to Santeria and Goth.
Don’t like the name?
Change it!
What about if it dresses funny, prayers strangely or has funny eating habits?
You’re free to change it’s clothing, or leave it naked, your choice. Make the kid pray, (Or not) as you prefer. Don’t like the way the kid eats or even what he/she eats? Stop feeding them and save even more!
What if I don’t like the model I get?
Send it back or trade it in for a newer/better model at no extra expense.
Suppose the ingrate doesn’t like me or my own children?
Knock a few teeth out and he’ll change his or her mind.
What if my children or I wanted a girl and we got a boy?
Slap a dress on him.
For more information, call your local CPS marketing and promotion department today. Operators
are standing by to receive your calls and start the process of capturing the kid of your choice today, just give us the criteria and we”ll find the kid within 24 hours that fits the bill.
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